It’s amazing the number of people who’ve said something to me about how glad I must be to have 2014 over…that it probably was the worst year of my life. Funny thing is, it wasn’t the worst year of my life (not sure which one was but it wasn’t this year) and in many ways, it actually was the BEST year of my life, possibly more for the things that DIDN’T happen than the ones that did.
First, I DIDN’T die. That’s a big one. I know there are worse things than dying but I just wasn’t ready to call it quits. I love my life too much. Jerry and I were at Florida Studio Theater in Sarasota last night for a cabaret called “American Pie”…music mostly from the 60s…and all I could think was, “I’m so GLAD to be alive to hear this music” and I had to hold my breath not to cry. We really did have the best music, my friends. (How crazy to say that the reason I’m so glad I’m alive is so I can listen to the music of the Sixties…Honestly, there are other more important things…it’s just that this hit me last night.)
There were so many other things that DIDN’T happen last year, especially during my treatment. Every time I went in for blood work before chemo, I could have been so compromised that they couldn’t continue treatment. That DIDN’T happen. Chemo could have set off days of nausea and vomiting. That DIDN’T happen either. My problems with eating could have caused a huge weight loss that put me in real danger. That DIDN’T happen. (smoothies with kale –thanks Shirley–and Ensure took care of that) We could have been in a fender bender (or more than one) in the crazy Houston traffic. That DIDN’T happen. The car could have broken down on the way to and from Texas. That DIDN’T happen. (love Toyotas) Jerry could have gotten cranky. Caring for me had to get old. That DIDN’T happen. Anne and Clark could have gotten tired of hosting us for weeks on end. That DIDN’T happen (or if it did, they sure hid it well) I could have gotten a cold or the flu and messed up treatment. That DIDN’T happen. When I went back before surgery and had all sorts of tests, they could have found that the radiation and chemo hadn’t done any good. That DIDN’T happen. I could have run into complications from surgery, the biopsy report from the surgery could have found residual cancer, recuperation from surgery could have taken longer than expected, the feeding tube could have gotten infected, etc. etc. None of those things happened either. And my cough that wouldn’t quit could have been pneumonia…NOT! And both times that I went back to Houston for checkups…in July and in October, they could have found something…that the cancer had come back…but they DIDN’T. Oh yes, lots of stuff DIDN’T happen…I was one of the very, very lucky ones.
I won’t start listing the good things that DID happen..there are way too many to list. Enough to say, 2014 was an incredibly good year for me. And I hope it was for each of you. And that 2015 is even better. Happy New Year, my friends. And thanks for being with me on this journey. It’s not the destination that matters, you know. It’s the ones you have along with you for the ride.