Jerry and my brother, John, just deopped me off at MD Anderson . They’re heading over to the Rothko Chapel for a bit of sightseeing and maybe some meditation. There simply was no sense for everyone to sit in waiting rooms all day waiting for me to “do my thing”.
Walking through the doors to the lobby, heading up to the Diagnostic Center for blood work sent chills through me. I started slow breathing not to cry. Even walking into Anne’s house last night threw me. It just brought back everything. I thought I did fine while I was going through it, but I’m wondering today if I have a bit of PTSD…stomach churning, on the verge of tears, and so very grateful to be where I am as I look around this crowded waiting room at the many, many people here for blood work. Right in front of me is a young woman, maybe Erin’s age. She’s in a wheel chair and keeps reaching back to touch her partner/husband/boyfriend. She’s sitting there with silent tears rolling down her cheeks while her husband stares vacantly into space. There are lots of others in the waiting room staring into space although most are on their ipohone or iPad passing the time as they wait to go in. It’s mobbed…It’s Monday after a holiday weekend. There isn’t an available seat in the waiting room which probably has about forty chairs. The additional forty seats in the other waiting room and the hall are filled as well. I imagine it’s going to be a bit of a wait. I don’t mind. I have lots to do as I wait.
And I have plenty of time. My CT prep isn’t until 1:00 and it’s only 10:30. I’m hoping to be able to get to Infusion Therapy for a port flush and to the beauty shop for a trim (I can’t do a thing with my hair) before that but if I don’t we’ll go after we see Dr. Ho tomorrow.
Tonight we’re going to the Melting Pot (thank you, Ryan and Anne) with John and my niece, Jill….something fun after a long day at the hospital.
I do believe it’s all going to be fine…NEC again (no evidence of cancer). Counting my blessings over and over as I hear about friends who were scheduled to come back in late July and are here early because of unrelenting pain and just found out the cancer is back with a vengeance in multiple sites. I am so blessed…so very, very lucky.