One Day at a Time

IMG_0459Choosing to be happy isn’t always easy but it is possible.  I don’t remember ever feeling as weak or pathetic as I’ve been feeling for almost a week.  It will be a week, tomorrow, since I left Houston and headed home.  What a week!  Still I choose to be happy.  (How could I NOT be happy?  I live in Paradise.)

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy.  Well, actually, I didn’t know.  I thought maybe I would dodge that bullet entirely.  But, hey, compared to lots of people I met, I had it soooo easy for soooo long. This is nothing.

I called the doctor today (so much for waiting until Monday)  I’ve been losing a pound a day (a dieter’s dream) and thought I’d better find out if there was some way to get more food in me that would stay down.  Losing weight, not keeping any food down, getting weaker and weaker…this is NOT my best week.

Anyway, I’ve got a new pain prescription (it’s the swallowing that kills me) and that should help.  Jerry is going to run out after supper for it.  Both Kevin (Dr Ho’s PA) and Ariceli (my contact for the study on side effects) said that A.  They had warned me and B.  I’m doing way better than they expected.  I said I know they warned me.  That’s why I wasn’t worried.  I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything I’m supposed to be doing.

They both also said that I need to rest but I also need to be up and moving as much as possible.  (I know, I know) So I guess I’m doing what I need to be doing and things will get better (Already better today…was up and about for at least two hours before I turned into a couch potato AND haven’t thrown up all day!!!)

Still haven’t made it to yoga.  Still haven’t even driven the car around the corner.  Still haven’t gone for a walk that is longer than fifteen minutes (ten is better)  But I know things are getting better and I know I’ll get stronger and stronger each day.

Nina Tepper, a good friend from the Western Mass Writing Project and from Holyoke Pubic Schools (my first “reading buddies partner…my kindergarteners and her sixth graders) recommended a CD called “Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster”.  It has several relaxation/visualization sections to listen to on a regular basis before surgery.  I just started listening and it’s wonderful.  I’d recommend it to anyone who’s facing any kind of surgery.  I got the book for my kindle…reading that next (Right now I’m reading The Good Lord Bird by James McBride.  Just started it and think it will be good.)

Check out my shirt in the photo below.  It’s from good friends of ours in Phoenix, Arizona.  Their daughter designed it for a good friend who had cancer.  Slow people like me have trouble figuring things out.  I kept saying E-F-F Cancer….As I said, I’m slow.  I’ll wear it to yoga and see if  anyone there is as slow as I am.IMG_3076


26 thoughts on “One Day at a Time

  1. Hi mary…no pukes? That is progress! If it makes you feel any better, i don’t get the EFF on the shirt. I can imagine what one of the Fs stand for, but I don’t get it either. Fill me in when you find out.

  2. Okay. I must be really, really S L O W because I didn’t get the “EFF”. Someone clue me in. Nancy

  3. Ha ha! Love the shirt. :). Not so ha ha that you feel badly, bit glad the docs reassured you. So open up the card I gave you and do what it says in between 10 minute walks!! Xxoo

  4. I think it’s supposed to be said aloud, “F Cancer!”
    Probably “F U Cancer” would have been a bit more obvious.
    At least that’s what I think it’s supposed to mean!
    As for me, I’ll add “EFF Snow”! I am so sick and tired of shoveling; sick and tired of slippery roads.
    Gotta go take a nap!

    Take care, Mary. Hope the new medicine makes swallowing less painful. Remember those milkshakes! Have one for me…!

  5. Take it slow dear friend! Sending hugs

  6. I get it and I agree.
    Mary you look so good in that picture. I’m glad you called the doctors. I am hoping that you continue to feel a bit better every day. Hang in there. Mary

  7. Please continue to just take one day at a time and bask In the sun. This is your time for healing so continue to do the BEST that you can. I will call you next week to visit with you. I hope the new meds allow you to eat. Those “pot” brownies are starting to sound like a pretty good idea.

  8. Oh mary, you truly are remarkable. It is so helpful for me to see you stay so positive , because quite honestly there are times when I just think what the hell why does crap happen? We can choose how we handle the crap. Thank you for this reminder… My heart is with you. Hey just read and the mountains echoed loved it- so beautiful. Xxoo carol

    Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID

  9. Would you like company?

  10. You’re right: EFF cancer! love you, Sonia

  11. Sorry you feel so miserable . . . but you look darn cute in the “EFF Cancer” shirt. (I get it.) Oh my – – your sense of humor is amazing, in spite of the fact you have trouble swallowing. What an inspiration you are. Love, Barb G.

  12. I got it right away. Having four sons helps!

  13. Ok, explain the shirt to us slow people.

    Sent from my iPad


  14. OMG I LOVE the shirt.
    Only wish I’d thought of making them first lol!! It’s awesome.

  15. Totally clueless as to what the initials mean, perhaps it’s better that way. For someone in the throes of treatment and recovery you’re looking mighty fine…a little smaller, but adorable. A ten minute walk is remarkable as far as I’m concerned. I can remember only too well that walking from my bed to the door was a mighty accomplishment, even the stairs were remarkable. You’re doing fine, just not up to your standards, but you will be. Rome wasn’t built in a day…everything due time. Recognize your accomplishments not your failures.

    Glad you called the docs. They probably made your brain know what your heart knew. Keep your eyes on the prize!

  16. Steve helped me with the EFF. It’s really perfect, but there are quite a few of us slow people around! Hope the medicine helps you. Love,Gina

  17. Greetings from Cambodia, Mary.

    Thinking of you and wishing you could share this trip! The DFW group has been talking about choosing to be happy, and I’ve been telling your inspirational story. Everyone from our group is thinking of you.

    Hope your new pain med helps! If anyone can find a way to get through this you will. But If you’re feeling like crap, let yourself experience the anger and disappointment. You’ve been through hell, and it wouldn’t be normal for you to be upbeat every single minute.

    Let me know how you like GLB. I put it down, and so did my son Brian. Excellent reviews, but not for me… Have you ever read Yhe Beautiful Mystery by Louise Penney? See if you can get that. Perfect for right this minute.

    Got to go but wanted you to know I’m thinking of you. Love, Deirdre

    Sent from my iPad


  18. Again you inspire me. I hope if I need a positive attitude, I wll remember all your wisdom. I am blessed to have you for my friend. Glad you called the doctors. Be well and gain strength my friend. Wish you were with me for healing. God is with you the entire way! Prayers continue! Aloha!

  19. Eat fudge forever, Cancer??????

  20. Hi Mary, so sorry to hear that the side effects finally got ya. I guess I’ll reiterate what everyone else is saying…hang in will get better! What a beautiful place to be…back home in the sunshine and warmth…gotta make you feel better! The yoga will wait until you’re stronger again. Just remember that’s behind you! Sending good thoughts your way my friend. night, Pam G

  21. All I can say is, “EFF Cancer!” But you really do look cute in your T-Shirt and bare feet! Enjoy the sunshine and feel better soon.

    PS: For those who don’t get the EFF, it’s a phonics thing. Say JEFF without the /J/ and you get EFF. Don’t feel bad, I’m a reading teacher; I’m supposed to know that.

  22. LOVE the shirt! Maybe we could start selling them and start a new business-might be better than selling hotdogs at the beach-lol! Remember, baby steps. You look fantastic! Let me know when you are up for a visit-I’ll even bring you dinner. Love and hugs, Gayle

  23. Hang in there and stay strong!

  24. Hi Mary,
    O.K. O.K. so too much ice and snow, heating problems, (may need a new furnace), report cards on the horizon, blah, blah, blah…you help me put things back into perspective! Thanks! Of course you want your other “normal”, but right now you have a temporary “new normal”, which includes more rest and less activity. Take care!

  25. Cute shirt! Take it one day at a time.Better days will come soon!

  26. Well Mary, I was feeling sorry for you until I saw the picture at the bottom. Snow piled up outside here, driving is brutal, more snow to come next week. And there you are barefoot and smiling in the sun!!!!

    Seriously though, hang in there. As you said – a little stronger every day.

    All my love.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s