Not So Bad

imageThank you, Gail Siano, for the quote above.  Perfect for these days.

You never know…I figured that yesterday was going to be the way it would be for the next couple weeks but not so.  Today is so much better, probably because I’m not throwing up.  Queasy stomach, weak…but I can deal with that.  Nothing like yesterday when I was just miserable.

In spite of it all, it wasn’t a bad day yesterday.  I had the photo shoot for MD Anderson…he took a ton of

Setting up for photo shoot

Setting up for photo shoot

pictures.  And I figured out why I smile so much.  They needed serious reflective ones because the piece they want to use it with is a serious reflective piece.   So I was serious and honestly, I look ten years older when I’m serious.  So much for being serious.  I don’t have any of theirs yet but Jerry took this one.  The photographer got some nice shots by the piano with my reflection in the piano…thought the “reflective piece, reflection” worked well.

Patient at the Piano in the Lookout Room

Patient at the Piano in the Lookout Room

He took them in another cool place at Anderson I never knew existed…24th floor, called The Lookout…beautiful room with nice quiet seating arrangements, grand piano and huge windows where you can see almost the entire city of Houston.  My NEW favorite place at Anderson…like The Park but this place has so much natural light.  Gorgeous.  After we finished the shoot, a patient came in to play the piano.  She let me take her picture.  I think it’s wonderful the ways people find to to relieve stress and find peace.

Chemo was right on time yesterday.  I took a couple pictures of the chemo room…Hopefully it’s the last time I’ll ever be there.  I asked Jerry if I could put in the one with him in it…he said okay.  Poor guy, he looks exhausted.  Hope he can get some rest in Florida too.  I should have told him to take a picture of me when I was curled up fetal position during image

Beginning chemo..asleep about 30 minutes later.

Beginning chemo..asleep about 30 minutes later.

chemo.  I never let him take photos when I’m at my worst. I did sleep for most of the session yesterday.  I was so out of it.  Anyway, here are the chemo room and how I started my session!

At the end of your last chemo, you ring the bell.  Staff members cheer you on and Aileen, my oncology nurse told me she hoped to see me around but NOT back inside the chemo section.  I totally agree..would love NEVER to go back there.  I rang the bell and Jerry and I headed for the parking garage and I burst into tears.  imageFunny the things I cry about.  Endings do it to me.  I remember my last radiation treatment at Baystate for breast cancer.  I started to cry on the table, tears rolling down both sides of my head. i didn’t stop crying for half an hour…the only day I was late for school during the whole six weeks of treatment.

I told Jerry I’m NOT listening to church music for the last two Protons…moving on to Abba.  I will not cry on the table this time!

We went for our last Apple class after Proton this morning…told the guys we’d be back in March for more.  We’ve learned a ton.  Not an Apple hint but something cool our instructor had just stumbled upon…If you use Google Chrome…If you are on a website that’s in a foreign language, something pops up that says “Do you want us to translate this?”  Hit yes and automatically the whole thing is in English.

Car is partly packed.  We did a lot today because we have no idea how the sicko will feel tomorrow.  Better than today? Like yesterday?  Every day is a new adventure.


21 thoughts on “Not So Bad

  1. In that last paragraph: “We did a lot today because we have no idea how the sicko will feel tomorrow.” Oh my, Mary, that cracks me up, after empathetic reading throughout the other parts of your entry, along comes your incredible wit Cute picture of you and Jerry ringing the bell. Onward to warm weather and spring. Love, Barb G.

  2. Wow, can’t wait to see you all!

    Sent from my iPhone



    Happy travels home to you both. Love, Marie

  4. Yea and yea! Upward and onward and away you both go

  5. Hooray! You got to ring the bell! Way to go! Love, Gina

  6. Hooray…glad it was a better day. Too steps back but one step forward… Pretty soon it will be just forward , forward, forward…
    I get the crying. I am a cryer as you know. Funny how we are strong in some spots that would put others under and then fall apart at ” little” things. Better to cry- you need the release valve!
    Drive home safely. Xo

  7. Congratulations, Mary. You more than persevered through a difficult first round with grace, honesty, humor, and compassion. You leave your gifts of wisdom and appreciation wherever you go making it better for others. I’m glad your discomfort is relatively short lived which convinces me, you will be more than fine during this final trek toward health.

    • The picture of you and Jerry is the best. BOTH of you are the picture of health. One would never guess the treatment you have been through. Keep smiling and ringing bells to symbolize great achievement! That you have done! Thank God for your wonderful care and the healing power of writing. Be well my friend. You are almost home!!!!!

  8. Congratulations!! I’m the one who cries when I see those ring the bell photos and my friends who have so stubbornly pulled through all the treatments and side effects and then to see it over just releases all my love. Cheers to you and Jerry. Hope the trip home goes well….

  9. So looking forward to seeing you again, my friend! Love you!

  10. I sent a big cheer your way yesterday,dearMary, as you competed your last chemo. A milestone to celebrate. I continue to admire the strength,humor and tenacity you continue to bring to this journey. MDAnderson clearly values your energy,as will the readers of your blog who will draw great strength from you. Hugs to you and to Jerry!

  11. Yippee! Close that chapter. Now on to happier adventures.
    Cheering you all the way, Mary

  12. Congratulations on your last chemo treatment!!! I am glad you are feeling better. Safe travels home to the healing sun and surf!

  13. Oh Mary, you never cease to amaze me. My the adventure continue for many years to come !!

  14. Love the bell. Love the tears. Congratulations much love

  15. Deirdre Christman

    So glad you’re feeling a little better! Loved the picture of you ringing the bell, both you and Jerry smiling. Rest up my friend and have a safe trip home. Can’t wait to see you!

  16. CHEERS!!! I too cried when I read your entry today and LOVED the idea of ringing the bell AND what a great picture of you and Jerry. Happy Travels, Drive carefully.

  17. Jerry is a rock and so are you! It’s nice to have a partner so in sync and in love! God bless you on your trip home. Enjoy, refresh and renew. Nothing can stop you now, wishing you God’s peace, Jane

  18. Congratulations-No more chemo!!! And, now you get to go home, and yes, there’s no place like home. In no time at all you’ll be back taking walks on the beaches, sitting poolside, reading a good book on the beach.

  19. Can’t wait to see you at yoga! Jim will feast you with croissants!
    Would an image-ringing that bell! YES!

  20. Love the post (and the picture)! Congrats on finishing up chemo!

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